Umm, like, you know what I mean? Actually, wait. As if! Let me start over. I am not a Valley Girl, I’m not a ditz and I’m certainly not Clueless. However, something has happened to me in my 30s + 12. My brain has turned to mush. Between raising two kids, working a full-time executive job, and juggling approximately 4,000 things at once, I've developed a serious case of brain fog. I used to make fun of my mom for calling me by my brother's name when she was in similar shoes at my age. Now I'm lucky if I get either of my kids' names right on the first try. But it wasn't just my memory that was suffering. Apparently, my mouth had developed a mind of its own. And, um, like, you know... I couldn't stop using filler words!
Enter my Instagram algorithm (which apparently knows me better than I know myself). I started getting ads for apps that offer articulation training. Have you seen them? "Never, I mean NEVER, start a conversation by asking about the weather!" Or, "Stop asking people if you can ask them a question. Just ask it.” Well, if you haven't been targeted by these ads yet and you're reading this now, sorry, not sorry for the barrage of articulation apps that will soon be flooding your feed. (You're welcome, Instagram.) But don't scroll away so fast.
So I decided to check one out and replaced my bedtime doom scrolling (or trying to get to the next level of Candy Crush) with seven minutes a night of articulation training games and exercises. And in just under six months, I've noticed a HUGE change. Not only have I cut down on my filler words, but I'm speaking more clearly, thinking more clearly, and have even shortened my points. (At least verbally. Clearly, my writing is still a work in progress. LOL.) I even catch myself mid-sentence and start over when I hear myself slipping back into old habits. And because I love sharing things I find helpful with anyone who will listen (or read), here we are. What I didn't anticipate was that once I started paying attention to my own filler words, I started noticing EVERYONE ELSE'S. And now I can't unhear them. Meetings, podcasts, conversations, zooms, interviews. The "ums," the "likes," the "you knows." They're everywhere! It's like when you're in the market for a new blue car, all you see are blue cars you never noticed on the road that were in fact all around you. Except now all I hear is "you know," and it's driving me crazy.
Okay, Julie, great job. You stopped saying "like" and "you know." But what's your point?
Well, while AI, spell check, and grammar tools can now easily correct our written words, what about when your career or job depends on the accuracy and effectiveness of your SPOKEN words? What about the jobs where the ability to communicate, connect, persuade, and sell is still one of the most important skills you can have? And can you guess what industry relies on those verbal interactions every single day? If you said restaurant workers, DING DING DING, you are the winner! (Your prize? A complimentary side of fries. Kidding. Those aren't free anymore. Just ask Rev about the time he gave away free fries at Handcraft Burgers).
And here is where I tie it all together 😊 In an industry where we spend so much time talking about technology, automation, AI, digital ordering, and operational efficiencies, there is still one thing technology can't replace. The art of conversation. From the host managing the guests annoyed with the long wait at the door, to the server explaining tonight's specials, to the bartender recommending a cocktail you didn't even know you wanted, so much of hospitality depends on how we communicate. And I'm not just talking about being friendly. I'm talking about being clear, confident, engaging, and knowing how to read the room (or, in this case, the table). A great server doesn't just recite the specials… they tell a story that makes you want to order the $48 fish you had absolutely no intention of eating when you walked in. A great bartender doesn't just ask what you want to drink… they ask the right questions, listen, and somehow convince you that the cocktail on your night off of drinking is exactly what you've been craving.
And while we spend millions of dollars training restaurant employees on food safety, POS systems, menu knowledge, and operational procedures, how much time are we spending teaching them how to actually speak to the guest? How to articulate a recommendation? How to confidently handle a complaint? How to explain why the kitchen is running behind without making the situation worse? Or even how to upsell without sounding like they're reading from a script? These are skills that can directly impact the guest experience, check averages, tips, and ultimately whether someone comes back. And unlike a digital menu board or a new piece of kitchen equipment, improving the way someone communicates doesn't necessarily require a big capital investment. All you need apparently is seven minutes a day…
Now, I'm certainly not suggesting that every restaurant operator should require their employees to download an articulation app and play word games before their shifts. (Although, it’s not a bad idea…) But I do think there's something to be said about investing in the verbal skills of the people who are literally the voice of your brand. We talk so much about hospitality being a people business, yet sometimes we forget that the words those people choose, and the way they deliver them, are a huge part of the experience. And it's not just the people interacting directly with guests. Think about the managers leading pre-shift meetings, the general managers motivating their teams, the salespeople pitching catering packages, or the executives presenting their vision to employees and investors. Communication isn't just a soft skill... it's a business skill. And in hospitality, it might just be the skill that sets one employee apart from the rest.
Six months ago, I started this little experiment because I was frustrated with my own brain fog and the number of times I said "like" and "you know." Today, I'm more aware of how I speak, how others speak, and how much of an impact a few well-chosen words can have. Am I cured of brain fog? Absolutely not. I still walk into rooms and forget why I'm there, call my kids by each other's names, and occasionally lose my train of thought halfway through a sentence. But at least now, when I forget what I was going to say, I can do it with confidence, clarity, and without saying "ummmm."
Which reminds me, what was I talking about again?
Oh, right. You know.
