I'm in that phase of life with my 5-year-old where...he's a liar. And a very good one.
If anyone is giving used car salesman vibes, it's him. You'll drive off the lot with a shiny lemon and somehow thank him for the great deal.
And while I jest about it here, I assure you as a parent I'm taking this very seriously. But simply telling a strong-willed 5-year-old that lying is wrong isn't enough. He needs to understand why it's wrong, and that he can still express his feelings and thoughts...just in a more accurate way.
So lately, we've been working on storytelling.
They say there are three sides to every story. Yours, mine, and the truth. But I've come up with my own version that's a little more relatable to a soon-to-be kindergartner.
I call them UPPERCASE stories and lowercase stories.
What does that mean? I'll give you an example.
The situation: A little boy did all his chores and earned a trip to the candy store as a reward.
The truth: A little boy went to the candy store with his mom. She gave him $5 and he bought two chocolate bars.
The UPPERCASE story: A little boy went to the candy store with his mom because he's super special and because his mommy is the best and coolest.
The lowercase story: A little boy went to the candy store, got every piece of candy for free, and ate it all for dinner.
See where I'm going with this?
There's the situation. The truth. Then there's a version where you might add colorful details or emphasize certain parts (without actually changing what happened). And then there's the version that leaves out important details or adds things that simply aren't true. (We call this bending the truth.)
Whether you're 5, 25, or 55, we've all seen every version.
"Okay Julie...so now you're a philosopher? Or a psychologist?"
Nope. So what's my point?
As I've been giving Josh examples of uppercase and lowercase storytelling, I've been trying to use situations he can actually relate to. Then I was sharing this idea with an industry friend (also a parent of a 5 year old “liar”), and we both started laughing because restaurant servers might be the greatest uppercase storytellers on the planet.
Let's look at an example.
The situation: A server really needs to sell the salmon special. (The restaurant has too much salmon to move...which clearly means a server contest is necessary.) A guest asks, "What do you recommend?"
The truth: It would really help me if you ordered the salmon because I'm trying to win the contest.
The UPPERCASE story: Oh my gosh...you have to get the salmon. I tried it before my shift and it's absolutely amazing.
The lowercase story: There's only one salmon left. You should probably grab it before someone else does.
See what I mean? The uppercase story is way more appealing.
Here's another one.
The situation: A server forgot to put in a table's order. The guests are hangry and asking where their food is.
The truth: I'm so sorry. I made a mistake and forgot to send your order to the kitchen.
The UPPERCASE story: I'm so sorry about the delay. I just checked with the kitchen and we're getting everything moving right now. Let me grab you some more bread while we get this taken care of.
The lowercase story: The kitchen is backed up tonight. It should be out soon.
Again, this isn't really about lying. It's about reading the situation, keeping people calm, and finding a solution. It’s hospitality 😊
Servers make hundreds of decisions every single shift. They have to read body language, adjust their communication style depending on who's sitting at the table, manage expectations, diffuse tense situations, and somehow still remember who ordered the dressing on the side (hint, hint, I’m that customer). Every table is different, every guest is different, and every interaction requires a different approach.
The best servers I've ever met aren't just order takers… they're incredible storytellers. They know how to build excitement around a dish, make someone feel like a regular on their very first visit, recover gracefully when something goes wrong, and make chaos look effortless. They're constantly pivoting, adapting, and reading the room. Hospitality is one of the few industries where emotional intelligence isn't just a nice skill to have...it's part of the job description.
I think that's one of the reasons so many people who start in restaurants become great leaders. They learn how to think on their feet, solve problems in real time, communicate with every personality imaginable, and make people feel heard. Those aren't restaurant skills. Those are life skills.
So no...I'm not here today advocating that servers should become better liars…I'm saying they're some of the best storytellers I've ever met.
And maybe that's why I caught Josh trying to convince me that he absolutely brushed his teeth, even though his toothbrush was bone dry. Or that he didn’t dip in the chocolate stash when the evidence is on his face (and hands, and couch). I’m hoping this is foreshadowing that he might just has a future in hospitality (or perhaps a legal career path), which for all our sakes, is much better than sending him to the used car dealership.
