The couple walks into your restaurant. The hostess greets them warmly and shows them to their table. They’re handed a menu and when the server arrives at the table, he leans in as if sharing a secret.
“We’ve got two secret items tonight. Want the insider intel?”
Boom! Dopamine.
They haven’t even ordered, and their reward and pleasure centers are already lighting up. That’s because pleasure starts before the first bite—it starts in the mind. Pleasure isn’t a transaction. It’s an experience people feel. And true hospitality, when done right, isn’t just good service. It’s immersive. It’s a story crafted to include the guest as the star.
This is the fascinating science of pleasure quirks—those psychological sweet spots that make experiences memorable, meaningful, and magnetic.
At the core? Dopamine. Often misunderstood as the "pleasure chemical," dopamine is actually more about anticipation than satisfaction. It's the neurotransmitter that captures attention, fuels motivation, and gets the brain leaning forward, eager for what comes next. When something feels exciting, novel, or rewarding—it’s dopamine that’s driving that buzz. But pleasure doesn’t come from the dopamine alone. It’s how that dopamine is triggered that’s key.
So how do we design experiences that don’t just satisfy—but stick? Neuroscience shows that our brains are wired to respond to three key psychological experiences: the choice, the chase, and the chance. When you understand how each one works, you can engineer moments that feel personalized, magnetic, and memorable.
Let’s break them down.
The Choice – the feeling of autonomy
Want to make your guests happier before they even taste the food? Give them agency. Our brains are wired to crave control—even tiny ones. That’s why choosing your seat, customizing your cocktail, or saying “yes” to the off-menu surprise feels so good. Choice activates dopamine, the brain’s “yes, more please” chemical.
Pro Tip: Create unexpected choice moments. Not just “Have you decided?” but “Want to hear the top-secret specials? Two off-menu dishes just dropped.”
Choice turns spectators into participants. Don’t just serve them; empower them.
The Chase – the thrill of anticipation
Here’s a brainy twist: we are wired to enjoy the chase more than the catch. Dopamine doesn’t spike when we get the reward—it spikes in anticipation of it. So those in-between beats—the pour, the tease, the slow reveal—aren’t filler. They’re psychological stagecraft.
Pro Tip: Create a cliffhanger. Master the art of the tease. “Should I save you one of our legendary desserts? We only make a handful each night.”
Temptation turns service into storytelling—and dopamine into delight.
The Chance – surprise is the hook
This is the most complicated part of pleasure. Our brains love predictable service, yes. But they crave delightful unpredictability. That’s why we get hooked on plot twists, slot machines, and surprise proposals. When service breaks the script in a joyful way, it hits different—and it sticks.
Pro Tip: Train your team to be on the lookout for the chances. A hand-written note, an unexpected amuse-bouche, insider menu information on the downlow. It doesn’t have to be expensive—just unexpected. Give servers authority to build in a moment of surprise—at least once per shift. It could be as simple as “Dessert’s on us tonight. Just because.”
Surprise doesn’t just delight. It’s emotional glue that makes the moment memorable.
Research in affective neuroscience shows that emotionally charged moments—especially those involving surprise, choice, or reward anticipation—amplify emotional impact. And here’s the kicker: These quirks don’t just make things more enjoyable in the moment. They also encode the memory of that experience more deeply.
Guests don’t come for the food alone. Or the drinks. Or even the service. They come chasing a feeling. And when you understand how the brain responds to choice, anticipation, and surprise—you stop serving tables and start crafting experiences that feel like magic but are rooted in science.
Pleasure is complicated. But mastering these quirks can be the difference between “Meh..” and “Man, that was amazing!” A drink order becomes a moment of agency. A dessert tease becomes a cliffhanger. A surprise treat becomes a story guests retell for years.
Hospitality isn’t about perfection. It’s about emotion. The best service doesn’t just satisfy—it sparks. And when you learn to harness the pleasure quirks, you don’t just meet expectations…
You blow them away.
Dr. Melissa Hughes is a keynote speaker, author, and self-proclaimed neuroscience geek. She is the author of Happy Hour with Einstein, and Happier Hour with Einstein: Another Round. and her most recent publication, Backstage Pass: The Science Behind Hospitality that Rocks. Dr. Hughes combines extensive research in neuroscience, behavioral science, and psychology to help restaurateurs and hoteliers apply science to create exceptional guest experiences. Learn more at MelissaHughes.rocks.
