Despite how hard I try not to use the weather as a conversation starter, when New York gets over four feet of snow in thirtyish days, it is kind of unavoidable.
Snow that impacts work schedules.
Snow that delays meetings.
Snow that changes travel.
Snow that leads to a lot of “sorry again for the delayed response, the kids were home… again.”
So yes. We are talking about the weather.
I spent the last two days at the Women In Restaurant Leadership Conference in Charleston. Thankfully snow did not impact my travel. There I go with the snow again. But wait for it.
While waiting in line for a Pop Up Dry Bar hair refresh (which YES is absolutely a thing at a women’s conference and wow was I here for it AND can we please normalize this everywhere) a friend commented on a photo I had posted the day before. My kids were standing proudly on top of a mountain of snow.
This turned back to me (clearly) as I then shared I was on shoveling duty.
While my sons (almost five and recently ten) were building snow forts and snowmen, I was digging out nearly three feet of snow from the end of our driveway thanks to the snow plow pile up. And then something happened.
My nine year old neighbor, a young girl, saw me and came right over to help. No hesitation. No asking. She just grabbed a shovel. A neighborhood teen, also a girl, joined in.
I turned toward my boys who were happily playing and my first instinct was to say, “Are you really going to let all the girls shovel while you play?”
And then I stopped myself. Instead I said, “Boys, look at us strong women working hard and shoveling.”
I did not ask them to jump in. I let them play. I let them watch.
Not because I do not believe in teaching responsibility. I absolutely do. But in that moment, the phrase actions speak louder than words ran through my head. They were watching. Even if they were playing, they were watching.
Fast forward to Charleston.
As I was recounting this story at the conference, it hit me. This was my POV this week. Because the biggest takeaway from Women In Restaurant Leadership was exactly that.
Do as I do. Not just what I say.
We as women. We as leaders. We as mentors. We as colleagues. Our actions are often far more powerful than our words. And yes, we should use our words. But they are amplified when they are backed by behavior.
Here were a few moments that stopped me in my tracks.
What happens when a CEO starts going into the office five days a week? Her team follows. Productivity rises. Nights are no longer spent on laptops but with families. She led a culture shift without issuing a memo.
What happens when a leader jumps into FOH and buses tables while dancing? Seats guests with a smile. Laughs while taking orders. She does not give a speech about hospitality. She embodies it. The message becomes clear. Whatever you are doing, be the party.
What happens when a leader works herself into the hospital? She comes back modeling boundaries. She takes time off. She protects her health. Suddenly her team feels permission to take vacation and create balance. No policy change required.
What happens when a C Suite leader known only by title shows up as a human? Not HR. Not Executive Vice President. Just Wendy. Barriers drop. Trust builds. Culture shifts.
What happens when a woman stands on stage and openly shares imposter syndrome, failure, the messy middle, the not having it all together? Yes, she uses words. But the action of vulnerability changes how others lead when they go home.
Actions. Always louder.
So back to the snow.
No one criticized me for letting my boys play while I shoveled. At least not to my face. But one day, when they are older, I hope they remember that their mom did not wait for someone else to clear the driveway. She grabbed the shovel. She got to work. Not to prove a point. Not to make a statement. Just because it needed to be done.
And when the driveway was clear?
We had a snowball fight. We built a snowman. We jumped off the swing set into piles of snow. We drank hot chocolate.
What did I model there?
Work hard.
Play hard.
Lead by example.
So next time someone asks you about the weather, do not just give the forecast.
Tell them what you built in it.
