Over the last few weeks, I have been interviewing candidates for a new role. Entry level. Maybe a second job. Think recent college grads from the last one to four years. In total, about eighteen interviews.
And here is the part that gets my goat.
Not one person sent a follow up note.
Not a thank you for the time.
Not a quick appreciation for the conversation.
Not even a “great to meet you.”
Is it wrong that I am shocked by this?
I was taught by my parents, guidance counselors, teachers, and peers that the first thing you do after an interview is send a thank you. You do not have to express interest every time. If the job is not the right fit, that is useful information too. You close the loop because the world is smaller than you think. Because how you show up matters.
This is not the first time I have seen this pattern. In fact, I will not move a candidate to a second interview without a thank you. Call it old school. Call it a filter. Call it stubbornness. It’s my process.
Early in my career as I was building my resume, I had thank you emails pre-written with blanks ready to fill in after all interviews. I have even gone as far as bringing stationery to a meeting, finding a lobby or restroom afterward, handwriting a thank you note, and leaving it with the front desk addressed to the person I had just met.
So what changed?
Where did interview etiquette go?
According to the National Restaurant Association, the restaurant and foodservice industry is still sitting on millions of open jobs nationwide (more than any time in recent memory). But simultaneously, major outlets like the New York Times have documented a rising reality for Gen Z: higher unemployment rates, disillusionment with traditional work paths, and a growing proportion of young adults who are not in jobs, education, or training. A Fortune piece highlighted that even before inflation, portions of Gen Z faced higher joblessness compared to previous generations, particularly in entry-level roles.
So here’s the paradox:
There are open jobs everywhere, even as a significant segment of young adults are not plugging into them. Jobs are plentiful. Follow-through is not. Expectation that opportunity is handed out, not earned is shaping the current generation of graduates. That disconnect should concern all of us. Because when jobs are plentiful, effort becomes the differentiator.
Which begs the question. With so many jobs open, are we just going to hire anyone? Or are we going to hire the people who actually want to be there? When jobs are plentiful, effort becomes the differentiator.
During my Peloton ride this morning, (a 45-minute HIIT & Hills with Ally Love, since I know you were wondering), she said something that stopped me mid climb.
“Everyone wants the prize. No one wants the process.”
That line perfectly captures what I am seeing and experiencing.
There is a growing expectation that graduating college comes with an automatic paycheck, title, and seat at the table. But hospitality has never worked that way. Leadership has never worked that way.
I spend a lot of time listening to and reading chef origin stories. The ones I admire most didn’t skip steps. They trusted the process.
Anthony Bourdain begged for stages and took any door that cracked open.
Grant Achatz cold-called kitchens until someone finally said yes.
Thomas Keller did the same.
David Chang took unpaid stages in Japan and New York.
My friend Josh Drew kept calling until he landed a stage at Bouchon
Is that still happening today? Are people willing to go through the process to earn the prize?
This is not just a back-of-house thing. On the Hospitality Hangout Podcast, which I have the privilege of producing, my favorite question to ask in pre-interviews is “What was your first job?” For many of the CEOs of your favorite restaurant brands, the answer is busser, dishwasher, cashier, server.
They are leaders now because they respected the process then.
Those stories were so powerful that we created the Hospitality Hustlers series just to tell them.
As a parent and a leader, I want to pass those lessons on. Grit matters. Effort matters. Gratitude matters. While my youngest is still learning his ABCs, it is a privilege to teach my ten year old the importance of a handwritten thank you note to teachers and peers. You better believe my sons will grow up with an understanding of respecting the process.
And to the future candidate reading this, A plus for doing your research. (Ask me sometime about the deep dive I did on Schatzy before my interview fourteen years ago.) You now have a one up. Write the thank you. It gets you to the next round.
No thank you?
Then no, thank you.
Julie’s POZ:
The restaurant industry was built by people who showed up early, stayed late, trusted the process, and expressed gratitude along the way. With millions of jobs still open, we don’t need more resumes. We need people who want the work.
And since POZ always ends with a soundtrack, let me remix this properly.
🎶 Cue up “Sorry, Not Sorry” by Demi Lovato:
I am not sorry for expecting effort
I am not sorry for valuing follow-through
I am not sorry for believing you earn your seat
You want the prize?
Start with the process.
Sorry. Not sorry. 🎶
