I don't like cheese. If you've ever had the pleasure of dining with me, this will not come as a surprise. This little "fun fact" somehow ALWAYS comes up. And every single time it's met with complete shock and often disappointment. And yes, every time I have to tell the story about my complicated relationship with cheese. And like clockwork, it’s always met with follow-up questions.
If this is breaking news to you, let me save us both some time with the official rules of my cheese schtick. (See what I did there? IYKYK.)
This is not an allergy. It's a preference.
It's a texture thing. Hard cheese is a hard pass.
I do eat cheese, but I will ONLY eat hot melted cheese... but...
Any cheese that smells is an immediate no. (Looking at you, parmesan, pecorino, blue cheese, and your stinky friends.)
If it's hidden... melted or cooked into something... I can usually handle it.
Cream cheese is a 50/50 offender depending on how much sugar has been added to disguise it.
I love pizza. (As long as it's melted mozzarella. But yes, I have to reheat the first slice of a fresh pie because otherwise it’s not melty enough.)
I have been known to enjoy a 2:00 a.m. Kraft Blue Box Mac & Cheese. (But is that actually cheese?)
I'll eat nachos... but only if I get to them before the cheese congeals.
And yes... I've been like this for as long as I can remember.
Okay. Now that we've gotten that out of the way...I’ll brace myself for your follow-up questions, concerns, disappointment, judgment and public shaming in the comments below. I will say this though...I'm actually not alone in this cheesy situation. My fellow cheese weirdos... you know who you are...solidarity.
Another cute story, Julie.
What's your point?
Before I worked in the restaurant industry, I used to tell servers that I had a cheese allergy. Not because I actually did , but because I thought that was the only way to make absolutely sure my food didn't come out covered in cheese. My friends rolled their eyes and my family just went along with it because they knew it wasn't really an allergy. Most servers shrugged, entered the modification, and my meal arrived sans queso. But occasionally… it did backfire. Perfect example, I'd order penne vodka and get... plain noodles. Apparently "cheese allergy" also translated to "hold the cream, butter and everything else that makes this dish worth ordering."
But the moment I became a server myself and sat on the other side of typing in modifications in the POS... I had a complete change of heart. I realized what a pain in the ass I must have been. Not just for the server…. But for the kitchen, the expo, and for everyone touching my ticket.
So, I changed my script to: "I don't like cheese. It's not an allergy. Just a preference."
Funny enough... that's all servers needed to hear… and magically my penne vodka started arriving exactly the way I wanted it... Creamy sauce, just no cheese! Everybody wins! (Well, pretty sure the chef who created the dish intentionally to have cheese still gives a wince or an eye roll).
But looking at this from the allergy angle, today the stakes are much higher. To many people… food allergies aren't preferences, they aren't trends, they aren't diets. They're real and they have serious side effects.
According to the CDC, food allergies affect roughly 15 million Americans, and nearly half of fatal food allergy reactions over a 13-year period were linked to food prepared in restaurants or other foodservice establishments.
Research from Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) also found that restaurants are the second most common place for adults to experience an allergic reaction, behind only their own homes.
That's why kitchens treat allergy tickets differently. Some amazing kitchens and teams go above and beyond with separate gloves, utensils and prep spaces.
As they should.
But along the way (and I’ll keep my options on that to myself), "allergy" has become interchangeable with "I don't want it." Looking at you gluten, dairy, butter…
Yet, the funny part is the same guest who has the allergy to the entrée containing gluten or daily is happily order dessert (without modifications) five minutes later.
How about the guest who complained that their gluten-free dish wasn't prepared with the regular sauce because "I just didn't want the carbs." And there we go back to the preference vs allergy. When we blur those lines, we create unnecessary skepticism around the people whose lives actually depend on us getting it right. Also, if this isn’t reminding you of the amazing campaign Toast and Matty Matheson did last year at Maera, The “Little Things”, then it deserves another watch here! (Shout out to you Kelly).
Hospitality has always been about personalization. We'll happily modify your meal, leave off the onions, swap the fries, hold the cheese, extra pickles, no cilantro. No problem.
But tell us why, because those words change how your meal is prepared.
Preferences deserve hospitality. Allergies demand precision.
Without sounding too cheesy...I'm actually grateful for my strange relationship with cheese. It's become one of my favorite conversation starters. It's also a reminder that every guest has a story behind what's on (or off) their plate. And now that you know mine, I’m ready to be grilled (cheese)…
