If you’ve ever watched Meet the Parents, you remember the airport scene—the Mount Everest of bad customer service. Greg Focker is standing at an empty gate, desperate to get home, and he encounters the perky, by-the-book gate agent.
“Now boarding rows 9 and above.”
Greg is in row 8.
There’s no one else waiting.
Logic has left the building.
He asks nicely if he can just board.
She smiles, tilts her head, and chirps,
“I'm sorry, sir… your row will be called momentarily.”
She sticks to the rulebook even though the rule makes no sense. The result? A painfully unnecessary standoff that ends with Greg waiting for absolutely no one and the agent later greeting him as if nothing had happened.
It’s a classic case study in hospitality circles: prioritizing process over people.
The Night Empathy Won
A few years ago, I was staying at a boutique hotel in Nashville—Edison bulbs, curated playlists, artisanal everything. Cool vibe. Great reviews.
But I wasn’t feeling cool. I’d just spoken at a conference, my flight had been canceled, I was running on fumes, and I wandered into the restaurant on the edge of unraveling.
A server approached with a gentle, “You doing okay tonight?” The look on his face told me he saw me—not as a table number or a ticket time, but as a tired human being who needed a quiet table and a nice glass of wine.
That wasn’t customer service.
That was empathy in action.
And I’ve never forgotten it.
Empathy: The X-Factor in Customer Service
Restaurants today are obsessed with ticket times, table turns, surveys, margins, and menu engineering. Necessary? Absolutely. But none of those things create loyalty.
The thing that does?
Empathy.
Empathy isn’t being nice. It’s tuning in. It’s noticing. It’s reading the emotional cues guests rarely say out loud.
And the neuroscience backs it up:
When guests feel seen and understood, their brain releases oxytocin—the trust chemical. It lowers stress, softens defensiveness, and creates connection.
That’s not fluff.
That’s biology.
And it’s the foundation of every unforgettable dining experience.
Empathy isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill—one anyone on the floor can practice.
It’s the host who spots a limping guest and offers the nearest table instead of the high-top by the bar.
It’s the bartender who notices indecision and says, “First time here? Want a quick rundown?”
It’s the server who sees a parent juggling kids and finds crayons and a coloring book to occupy them for a few minutes.
Tiny moves.
Micro-moments.
Zero cost.
Huge emotional ROI.
Guests don’t come back because your burger won an award or because the lighting was perfect. They come back because of how your team made them feel.
They come back because someone made their day easier.
Because someone cared.
Because someone turned a stressful or ordinary night into a moment of comfort.
Empathy transforms a meal into a memory
and a transaction into a relationship.
And right now—when people are tired, overloaded, and craving genuine connection—empathy isn’t a soft skill.
It’s your competitive edge.
The ingredient you can’t plate or price…
but the one that keeps guests returning again and again.
Dr. Melissa Hughes is a dynamic keynote speaker and author who brings brain science to life with contagious energy, humor, and heart. Her programs spark mindset shifts, ignite engagement, and inspire teams to deliver experiences that truly rock.
If you want to dig into the science behind exceptional hospitality experiences, Melissa is gifting the digital edition of her new book, Backstage Pass: The Science Behind Hospitality That Rocks, to Branded friends and readers. Enter promo code BRANDED to download your free copy today.
