Have I ever told you that I was almost on Season 6 of MasterChef?
But first, let’s back it up.
I’m what I call a really good (somewhat) technique trained home cook. Back before I had kids, I’d spend my nights cooking pretty extravagant dishes. Hand rolled squid ink garganelli pasta on a weeknight? Why not. Homemade ramp focaccia on a Thursday? (BTW it’s official Ramp season – IYKYK). Let’s go! I loved it.
(Just a few of my homemade dishes)
I’d even let my friends dictate a theme or cuisine to challenge my skills. I loved researching recipes, learning new techniques, and turn my tiny NYC and Brooklyn kitchens into Thai, Greek, or Italian kitchens for the night. Full multi course situations that went well into the early mornings.
It was that love of cooking that led me to where I am today. At a pivotal moment in my early career I questioned whether in fact I wanted to go to culinary school for a formal training and then to become a chef. But ultimately, I decided chef life wasn’t for me. I didn’t have the chops (pun intended) to cut it (again, pun intended) in the kitchen. And… I loved marketing. So I had this thought… wouldn’t it be cool if I could do marketing for restaurants? And a few weeks later… I started working for Branded Restaurants.
So now I’m fully in the restaurant industry. And I start getting calls from TV producers and casting directors looking for our chefs to apply to various cooking shows. Naturally, I became friendly with a few of them.
So when one of them called looking for really strong home cooks… I raised my hand.
I made it through all three rounds of casting. First, the live timed cooking demo with judges. Next, passed the camera-test interview round. Lastly, I spent a few hours with the producers sharing home videos, photos and more video interviews to create my full contestant package with the casting team who would present me to the producers. No-So-Spoiler alert, I didn’t make the final cast.
Being me, after getting the news, I didn’t just say “ok thanks.” I asked why.
Their answer (and I quote): “You’re too nice. We’re worried you won’t bring enough drama.”
Well… if there’s ever a reason to feel good about being cut, that’s it. But also… I wish I knew. I could have brought a little attitude 😂
Ok Julie… cute story. What’s your point?
For years, the way kitchens have been portrayed… and in many cases, operated… have been loud. Aggressive. High stress. Yelling, cursing, hazing. And yes, that culture didn’t start on TV. But TV definitely amplified it.
Shows like Hell’s Kitchen with Gordon Ramsay made intensity feel like the norm. Anthony Bourdain wrote about the chaos, pressure, and personalities of kitchen life in Kitchen Confidential. And more recently, The Bear has probably come the closest to showing the emotional and operational reality of building and running a restaurant. (Shout out to you Josh Senior for Producing this Chefs Kiss of a show 🙌)
So for someone like me… who loves food, loves cooking, but is not exactly looking to get screamed at over mise en place…Of course I questioned if I could “cut it.” But here’s the thing. That’s not the only version of a kitchen anymore.
There is a new (and current) generation of chefs and operators building cultures rooted in mentorship, respect, and actual leadership. I look at someone like Dominique Crenn, who is incredibly vocal about empathy, mental health, and creating inclusive kitchens. Or José Andrés, who has built his entire career around mentorship, purpose, and yes, feeding people… both in his restaurants and through World Central Kitchen. Then there’s Alice Waters, who has been doing this forever. Truly the OG of values based kitchens. Teaching, nurturing, sustainability… not just for ingredients, but for people. And on the fine dining side, you have Eric Ripert, who is known for running one of the most disciplined kitchens out there… without the toxicity. Calm, focused, respectful. (Imagine that.) And then you have chefs like Josh Capon, who bring this big, high energy personality… but it shows up in the best way. His kitchens and dining rooms are collaborative, guest obsessed, and just… fun. The kind of energy that people want to be around and grow in.
And there you have it. It’s not about removing standards. It’s about removing fear.
Because the best kitchens today aren’t the loudest ones. They’re the ones where people actually want to stay.
These are environments where people grow. Where teams are developed. Where leadership actually looks like… leadership. These are kitchens I would have thrived in!
But then I think back to how many people out there, like me, loved cooking… loved restaurants… but felt turned off by what they thought kitchen culture had to be? How many incredible potential chefs, operators, and creators chose a different path because the environment felt intimidating, outdated, or just not aligned with who they are?
We don’t need more screaming kitchens. We need more great leaders. We need kitchens where people feel safe to learn, to mess up, to grow, to stay. Because kindness is not a weakness. In fact… it’s the edge.
(And if you’re thinking “don’t mistake my kindness for weakness”… yes, exactly that.)
The best teams I’ve seen in this industry are not driven by fear. They’re driven by respect
So maybe I didn’t go to culinary school.
Maybe I didn’t make it onto MasterChef because I was “too nice.”
But if that’s the case… I’ll take nice.
And if any casting directors are reading this, if you ever need a contestant who can make handmade pasta and bring the giggles and good vibes…You know where to find me.
